How to love again?
How to relive a love?
It depends a lot on balance and personal maturity. If you expect everything from the other and you can not assume your loneliness, you take the slightest opportunity to "reclassify", and this is usually not conclusive.
Redo his life suppose to have done his mourning, whether widowhood or divorce. In the first case, the personal image is not overly affected, but a sense of fidelity beyond death can prevent one from making oneself available to another love. These cases are nevertheless rarer today, and the social pressure to bear the mourning has disappeared.
What is generally problematic is the still young children. Many women do not allow themselves to seize romantic opportunities, because they dread to impose an additional ordeal on their children. According to statistics, women remarry after 7 to 8 years. Others reform a new couplebut without regular cohabitation, not wishing to make common home, for professional reasons or for children.
How to reinvest in a relationship when one has been left?
The person who experiences a break has a loss of self-esteem, doubt, anger. Welcoming a new relationship will be more difficult, but time is healed. Again, a work of mourning and understanding is necessary to start on a good foundation.
Some people even stand out stronger after a failure. From their suffering, they manage to draw, after a work of understanding, a greater maturity as well as a greater humanity. They will have a desire to overcome their failure and will engage in a new project with more chances of success.
Is there a desirable time to mourning or can we redo his life very quickly ?
Redo his life quickly avoids questioning and understanding of what happened. There are formatted explanations. There is a desirable maturation time of about 18 months to two years. The reality is different depending on whether we have children to raise or not. In stepfamilies, the risk factors are more important because the arrival of a newcomer is often badly experienced by children.
How to make yourself available again when we think that his life is behind you?
To begin with, one must avoid taking refuge in solitude by shutting oneself up for example in the work and the education of the children, and by cutting any social relation.
But when the life has been very long, some women do not want to go back to another project. Others inflict a posthumous fidelity, but these cases are rare. There were many more in the past. Moreover, today, we talk about relationships in retirement homes. The need to love and to be loved is unquenchable, whatever the age!
Françoise Sand is the author of The couple at the risk of duration, recently published by Editions Desclée de Brouwer.
