5 tips to forget your ex
Refocus on oneself
In the movie Never the first night, in theaters on the 1stst January, Julie (Alexandra Lamy) tries desperately to drown her grief with books about happiness and the quest for self. It is under the amused eye of her owner that she goes to the library of her neighborhood to devour the radius "personal development". Would happiness be learned in books? One thing is certain, in these moments, the essential thing is to refocus oneself on oneself and to think a little about oneself. Things that we tend not to do when we are in a relationship. To avoid falling back into the same love scheme, ask yourself the right questions: "Why did not it work?", "What do I really want?". Reflections that will make you, without any doubt, advance. And most importantly, take time for yourself. Nothing better than a girlfriend shopping trip, a massage session or a new haircut ... to feel good in her head and body.
The opinion of the psychologist Sandra Fingerhut: "It is important to take stock of this relationship and ask yourself:" What is our fault? "It helps to move forward. also, to take time for oneself to regain self-confidence and not to fall, in the future, on someone who could take advantage of this moment of weakness "
Break all contact
No, no, you must not call him back. Do you violence. Delete his phone number from your address book, remove him, his friends, Facebook and Twitter friends. Read his comments, cheerful, on his new life, you will do more harm than anything else. And most importantly, if he tries to reach you, do not answer him.
The opinion of the psychiatrist: "Even if it is painful, it is not necessary to remain in a situation of waiting, it prevents us from rebuilding ourselves"
Go out
It may seem stupid but when you find yourself single, the first time, we tend to shut up. This is the first reaction -human- that Julie in Never the first night before realizing that there is no point in staying prostrate at home. Make an appointment for girlfriends, go to the cinema, take care of your nephew or niece ... History of changing air and mind.
The opinion of the psychiatrist: "You must not isolate yourself, it is necessary to resume a social life, to meet new people, and to let the possibility of being flirted.This makes it possible to feel valued".
Sort
Throw, throw ... everything that makes you think of him. Sweet words exchanged during the holidays, souvenirs, his sweater he left at home. Put everything in a box that you store in the cellar or in the trash. This will make you feel good and you will not think of him every time you open your closet.
The opinion of the psychiatrist: "It is essential to start over at 0, to find each other again, we must not leave space for the other, who has left".
externalize
Do you need to empty all the tears from your body? Do it. And do not forget: no, you are not ridiculous. Like everyone else, you have the right to crack. Tell yourself that your friends are here to comfort you. In this respect, friendship is like love: we share good and bad times.
The opinion of the psychiatrist: "It never hurts to cry, it is necessary to digest the pain, to put an end to this story, and it goes by, cry, scream, evacuate".
Sandra Fingerhut is a psychologist in the 17th arrondissement of Paris. Find his site.
