Brother and sister: tips for better understanding
Why do your children always bicker? Disputes are common in all siblings. They are even necessary. Indeed, they allow toddlers to assert themselves and find their place within the family. But through bickering, they also seek to attract the attention of parents. Jealousy is also often the translation of wanting to be loved as much as possible. Thus, if dad or mom offers a toy to the youngest, the eldest will want the same thing because he will consider it a sign of affection to which he is not entitled. He will be jealous and will do anything to be noticed even if he must for that, make his brother scream.
What to do in case of conflict?
First of all, set the limits. No, we do not type and no, we do not pull the hair, whatever the reason. Be firm on fights but also on verbal aggression.
When the tone rises between your children, do not minimize the problem and above all, do not act as if nothing had happened. Frustrated at not being able to draw attention to them, they would be tempted to start again. So opt for appeasement, playing the card of "everyone goes to his room to calm down". Then talk to your toddlers separately. No need to look who started, it will always be the other. On the other hand, try to understand the reasons for the dispute. When the anger is over, force them to do the housework together, the dishes ... This will encourage them to communicate other than by the argument and will tie up their link.
If it's bickering about the TV program for example, let them fend for themselves to find a compromise. But give them a limit in time. For example: "In 30 minutes, you will tell me the name of the program you want to watch, then no more crying or whims".
Manage the arrival of a new child
The arrival of the cadet can be traumatic for the elder who can feel assaulted and especially betrayed. Someone else takes his place and in addition, monopolizes the attention. It is important to prepare it early in your pregnancy. Show him pictures, explain to him that you will spend time with this baby as you spent with him.
At the maternity ward, all guests have eyes only for the newborn. Do not forget to give a gift to the older brother at that time. Then, at home, put it to work to help you in small tasks: look for the pacifier, diapers, take out the bottle ...
How to avoid arguments?
Conflicts can be alleviated, including time for each child individually. Your toddlers will no longer have to assert themselves through their brother and sister.
During a fight, avoid making the situation worse. Remember to intervene in favor of the youngest under the pretext of protecting him. You would only put him in the role of the victim. Similarly, encourage the older, often jealous, little brother to talk to you. And tell him all the love you have for him, that will solve many problems.
What to do in case of conflict?
First of all, set the limits. No, we do not type and no, we do not pull the hair, whatever the reason. Be firm on fights but also on verbal aggression.
When the tone rises between your children, do not minimize the problem and above all, do not act as if nothing had happened. Frustrated at not being able to draw attention to them, they would be tempted to start again. So opt for appeasement, playing the card of "everyone goes to his room to calm down". Then talk to your toddlers separately. No need to look who started, it will always be the other. On the other hand, try to understand the reasons for the dispute. When the anger is over, force them to do the housework together, the dishes ... This will encourage them to communicate other than by the argument and will tie up their link.
If it's bickering about the TV program for example, let them fend for themselves to find a compromise. But give them a limit in time. For example: "In 30 minutes, you will tell me the name of the program you want to watch, then no more crying or whims".
Manage the arrival of a new child
The arrival of the cadet can be traumatic for the elder who can feel assaulted and especially betrayed. Someone else takes his place and in addition, monopolizes the attention. It is important to prepare it early in your pregnancy. Show him pictures, explain to him that you will spend time with this baby as you spent with him.
At the maternity ward, all guests have eyes only for the newborn. Do not forget to give a gift to the older brother at that time. Then, at home, put it to work to help you in small tasks: look for the pacifier, diapers, take out the bottle ...
How to avoid arguments?
Conflicts can be alleviated, including time for each child individually. Your toddlers will no longer have to assert themselves through their brother and sister.
During a fight, avoid making the situation worse. Remember to intervene in favor of the youngest under the pretext of protecting him. You would only put him in the role of the victim. Similarly, encourage the older, often jealous, little brother to talk to you. And tell him all the love you have for him, that will solve many problems.
