Homosexuality: their first time
Marie, 18: "My family has very badly accepted my homosexuality"
I lived my first homosexual experience at 17 years old. I had only two sex with boys. But I already felt that it was not my thing. That's when I met my current friend. No one around me was aware of my doubts. I definitely preferred to dolove with a woman, it was more intense. I realized that men disgusted me and that I could not love them.
I quickly asked myself a lot of questions about what all this was going to cause as a problem, but I still wanted to live it.
It is especially when the relationship begins to become serious and that one engages one wonders if one makes the good choice. Should not I try again with a man? Although deep inside me I knew it was with my friend that I was good.
In addition to your own questions, what complicates the lives of homosexuals and hurts, it is the prejudices that come from the entourage (friends, colleagues, family).
As for friends, if they do not accept it, you always recover, but the family is not the same. Mine took it badly and I suffered a lot. And despite some effort, I still have this scar caused by totally homophobic comments mostly from my mother. I saw her look filled with hate when she learned it. She called me dirty, perverse, shame family. Yet when it was homosexuals in general, she never reacted badly, on the contrary, but as for everyone it goes so much that it does not affect your own family. She had no more signs of tenderness towards me, whereas before she was very affectionate. I hide it, but my pain is immense. I know I will never find my mother again like before. It's as if I had lost her, that she was dead. It's really terrible to say. I thought I had mourned, but no. My father was much less hard, he tried to understand while wanting to change my mind! As for my sister, she had suspected it for two years.
Fortunately I had my friends to support me and the adults who followed me (teacher, social worker that I started to consult because of my parents) and of course my friend. Without all these people I would never have left and it is thanks to these that I accept in part my homosexuality. »
Claire-Elise, 23 years old: "sexually, I'm satisfied ..."
"As a child, I was already attracted to women. I was not older than 8 or 9 when I had my first sexual experience. With my girlfriend we started by simulating the sexual act by rubbing against each other. Around 10 years, I redid this experience with a neighbor younger than me, we caress the evening when I went to sleep at home. There was no love feeling in these acts. I was ashamed and I would not want anyone to know anything about this. I started again regularly with these girlfriends. But I did not feel lesbian ...
Subsequently, at age 15, I had my first sexual experience with a boy I loved but I was not in love. Then during a vacation in Tunisia, I got closer to a girl in particular who would quickly become my best friend. This friend had a twin sister, Elise, a tomboy, but who had many male conquests under her belt. One night, when we drank alcohol and were drunk for the first time in our lives, we kissed languidly. This kiss was wonderful. Afterwards, when I went to sleep at her place, we kissed secretly while her twin was sleeping (we slept in a big bed). It was very natural and we never talked about it. The years passed and we continued. We also had friends and I still did not feel lesbian. Our kisses have evolved and we have made thelove. Little by little, jealousy interfered, because Elise could not stand that I'm going out with boys too. At 19, I even had a companion for several months while continuing to see her. He was the one who knew nothing.
After overcoming many pitfalls, Elise and I are now an assumed couple, we love each other and dream of starting a family. My relatives are aware of my homosexualityIt has not always been easy. No man has ever filled me sexually like her, it's ecstasy, it's sweet, sensual, hot, hot and passionate. "
Sébastien, 28: "I discovered other sensations ..."
"I was 24 years old when I first lived homosexual experience. I felt a great desire to discover other sensations in my sex life. After some hesitation, I made an appointment to a man on the net. Two days later we met, on the moment I liked, but it was after that I felt a little ashamed, not very proud of myself. Then very quickly the feelings that I felt during this experience I missed. So I decided to meet another guy and I liked it a lot. It's really different from thelove with a woman, the feelings are not the same. Now I start again regularly when I have the opportunity and the desire is felt. Only a friend is aware of my homosexualitybut not my girlfriend, I keep it for myself, it's my secret garden. "
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