mum
January 16, 2022

How to explain the arrival of the second child to the elder?

How to announce him?
 
Classically expect 3th month of pregnancy to talk about the arrival of a baby to your child.
In the words you use, stay simple and adopt a happy tone. The sentence "You'll soon have a little sister or a little brother." is amply enough.
 
Explain to him when the little baby will be born and how long it will take. Take precautions by telling him that nothing is ever safe ... In case of interrupted pregnancy, the child will be less shocked and will not feel guilty if deep down he did not want this competitor.
 
The most difficult age
 
Between 2 and 5 years, the child usually reacts badly enough to the arrival of a little brother / sister. Yes, he is in the middle of the Oedipal period! So it's only logical that he is jealous of whoever is going to rob him of his parents' love ...
It will therefore reassure more than a child of another age, throughout the pregnancy. Show him that you still love him so much through everyday little touches, without falling into emotional blackmail.
 
The decision to have a child only looks at you!
 
Do not consult too much with your child before birth. Do not make him believe that it is a gift that comes for him and that, therefore, he can have an influence on the sexuality of his parents.
He must not believe that he can prevent this birth. If he thinks he has too much influence over this baby, he can also imagine that he has all the rights over him; it is not very healthy for the relationship between brothers and sisters to come.
 
Do not feel guilty
 
To impose another child on your eldest is not cruel. You enlarge his family and multiply the affection that he will receive.
Do not believe either that you will not be able to love both at the same time. Parental love has infinite power and you will realize it very quickly. So remember the old adage "Family numerous, family happy! "
 
The advice of the specialist
 
Maryse Vaillant, psycho-clinician, has just published "Ma family, my friends, my school and I "at Pocket Jeunesse.It addresses, among other topics, the question of the arrival of a new baby in the family and advises parents on the attitude to adopt with the elder.
 
"As long as your child does not perceive the benefits of being a senior (having a playmate, protecting and caring for a child, etc.), he or she may feel threatened. the continuity of your love, and be patient. birthgive him things to do: the more active he is, the less anxious he will be. "

How to Prepare a Toddler for a New Sibling (January 2022)