January 16, 2022

How to fight against emotional dependence?

The emotional dependence results from a lack of love during childhood. The little one lacks nothing, if not affection. Faced with parents who are absent or too busy with their respective lives, the toddler passes then. After the big sister, after mom's migraines, after dad's work. In this context, it is difficult for the child to feel loved and valued.


A lack that turns into a deficiency
Growing up, the teenager continues to believe that he passes after others. As a result, it connects diseases of psychosomatic origin. And multiply the activities so that one is interested and that one takes care of him.


In adulthood, the addict only exists through his partner. He is ready for anything: to change, to sacrifice himself to stay with the coveted person. Why ? He thinks he's not good enough for her. She will eventually realize it and will go away, he fears then.


The deficient are often jealous and possessive. It must be constantly reassured by SMS, evidence oflove... We also find this kind of personality in the couples fusional. The "love-addict" wants to do everything with his half. At the risk of choking or running away.


How to fight against this problem?
Emotional dependence is above all a problem of self-esteem. A deficient person must regain confidence in herself, in her value. And to learn to live alone and to flourish on its own. Without the others.


When it's not with their half, emotional addicts seek to fill their gap through their friends. It is not a question of doing group activities to seek the support of others but to assert oneself alone. It is therefore necessary to multiply individual activities such as music, walking, photography.


The loved one is put on a pedestal. To help her dependent spouse, she must encourage her to multiply the outings and detach from her little by little. To avoid any problem, dialogue is essential.


In addition, she must also explain to her that she needs freedom to flourish and live at her own pace. She can send an SMS in the day to reassure him, but not every hour!


With a good dose of communication and some concrete actions, the addict will be less in need oflove and the couple will thus find a balance, essential for the longevity of the couple.



What is Dependent Personality Disorder? Mental Health Help with Kati Morton | Kati Morton (January 2022)