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August 16, 2022

How to talk about sexuality to my child: Interview with David Abiker, author of "Zizi the Kid"

How did you come up with the idea of ​​writing "Zizi the Kid"?

I first had the idea of ​​the title and, becoming a dad, I wanted to tell the story of childhood and especially when we leave childhood. And it takes a pretext to tell the story of childhood, so I told myself that instead of telling how the child grew up with various and varied traumas, that I do not think I had, I thought that Zizi, my character, was about to leave childhood, wondering "What do grown-ups do in beds?"
So Zizi is going to tell how little by little he discovers that he is different from the girls, that the sexuality it's for the grown-ups and then how his cousin, who is an educator in this area, shows him the way out.

How old is Zizi throughout the novel?

The adventures of Zizi begin at age 5 and end when he is 11/12 years old.
This is called the latency period, where the children do not have sexuality but have a lot of questions on the subject. But in my opinion, children are not obsessed with sex. They are "obsessed questioners" that is to say they want to open all doors. In fact, they spend their time searching for keys.

When does Zizi really begin to wonder about the sexuality ?

In the first part of the book, Zizi only makes observations and he is mistaken. And then, little by little with the images he discovers and what he hears on the radio, he begins to wonder. In all children, there is an age at which one observes and an age when one questions oneself. So in the end, many questions are stated, without giving the answers because the answers are the adult reader who has them. The whole game of the book is based on this round-trip between the questions of the child and the answers given by the reader.

Does Zizi ask adults questions?

In fact, he poses them mostly to himself in the novel. What interested me was to rehabilitate the inner life of children in which we never finally enter.
I think it is good that a child keeps his garden secret. He must not talk to adults at all costs. It's good that he asks questions when he wants to ask them, that's all. I wanted the reader to go around in circles as we turn in circles in his head, when we are small.

Your daughters are 6 and 10 years old, it's Zizi's age. They ask you questions about the sexuality sometimes ?

Recently, my daughters were dropped off at their grandparents' house for the holidays and I said to the little girl, "oh lala but what are we going to do without you with your mother when you are on vacation?"
And she said at the table, simply, "Well, you're going make love Of course, she did not know what it meant or only half.make love"It meant rather you are going to be between" grown people ".


"Zizi the kid" - Robert Laffont - 15 euros

Find David Abiker on: www.davidabiker.fr



Conclure. Ou pas ! David ABIKER at TEDxBordeaux (August 2022)