How to transmit our values?
What is a value?
I define it as a belief that you, especially, hold dear. Because you consider it capital to live. It can be faith, honesty, courage ...
To have values is to consider that everything is not worth it. Generally, a man and a woman who decide to have children share common values. But it happens that their hierarchy differs for each spouse.
Do we always transmit the values we have received?
Not necessarily. I realize that we often take care not to reproduce the errors of our parents, or what we judge as such. For example, many parents today feel that - rightly or wrongly - they have lacked contact and dialogue with their own parents, children in a stream of words. We do not necessarily transmit what we have received, even if we necessarily position ourselves in relation to what has been transmitted to us. Educational beliefs evolve. Our parents had theirs, we have ours, our children will have theirs.
Is the transmission of values spontaneous?
Many things are transmitted unconsciously through our attitude. We transmit a lot by capillarity, thechild we feel.
And then certain sentences, a priori innocuous ("the future belongs to people who get up early") carry in them a deeper message, express a value.
Moreover, it is difficult to transmit values if they are not worn in themselves. The characteristic of values is that they are incorporated.
How to transmit them?
Transmitting values is not just about anything, it's ours, and we stick to it.
It is important that thechild feel that in your eyes everything is not worth it. But it's about giving him the opportunity to sort it out later. Transmitting values requires both firmness and tolerance. That he builds his own system of values is your greatest victory. But to raise it in the respect of yours gives it a pivot in relation to which it can be situated to make its own choice.
How does itchild will he adhere to the values?
If your values do not make you happy, he will not want to adopt them. It's the way you live these that influences his choice. They must pay!
To raise a childyou have to ask yourself "responsible for the world", Anna Arendt said. Thechild sees that his interest is to be heir, because the values that defend his parents do not succeed them too badly ...
Why do values have a nerdy connotation?
This is less true today, the word value returns. But he has been associated with reactionary beliefs. Too often, value meant tradition. It seemed like something irremovable that went through the centuries, but it's wrong. Everything changes, things change. We all have values, and it's not really bad, because we believe in it.
