January 16, 2022

I live with a jealous, what to do?

As soon as he walks through the door, your brain is already running at full speed. Remains more than screaming "engine"! If you make movies and imagine it already in the arms of another, at this point, no doubt you are jealous. Good news ! Jealousy can be healed! How to deal with this obsession and get by? Interview with Géraldyne Prévot-Gigant, psychotherapist specializing in Word Groups for Women® and author of many books on love.
1 / We have all experienced a minimum of jealousy towards our partner. From when, can we recognize that we have turned into jealousy jealousy? Feeling a little jealous means that we care about our lover. But being constantly jealous indicates that there is a problem. As soon as you become a real spy during the Cold War: search pockets, phone (calls received, sms), emails and his schedule; as soon as a woman approaches and we feel threatened, then there is sickly jealousy. It is in fact an ongoing anxiety to lose the loved one.
2 / What are the symptoms that should alert us? Node in the throat, ball in the belly, hyper emotion (fear, anger, sadness). On the alert, the jealous will hunt down the slightest signs that will confirm her doubt to become obsessive.
3 / Is it better to talk to your partner to confess all our symptoms such as the search of his pockets, drawers, emails ...? Often there was a trigger and it may be the feeling that our spouse is moving away from us and that the gap is widening. Dialogue can reassure the jealous but do not forget that expressing your jealousy can be excessively difficult because it is not rewarding at all! Be careful therefore that the dialogue does not accentuate the narcissistic flaw.
4 / Does our partner have a role to play in our healing? What are the attitudes he can adopt to help us or at least not to amplify our emotion of jealousy? The partner has an important role: he must be careful that his companion does not feel devalued, not ashamed. It will have to value the fact that it initiated the dialogue. He will have to remain calm because an attack of anger risks fueling the suspicions of his partner. And having a violent reaction, he will risk to maintain in his companion the feeling of being rejected and abandoned. He will not be angry with him for having searched his affairs.
5 / We are not jealous by chance. Where does this suffering from jealousy come from? Often jealousy takes root in our childhood or adolescence, abandonment (s), separation (s), distance (s), trauma (s) ... The model of our parents' couple is also very important and will unconsciously influence our love life.
6 / Can we cure love jealousy and get rid of this obsession that often spoils the lives of those who undergo it on a daily basis? Fortunately, we can heal with the help of a psychotherapy professional. With him, you will explore your story and that of your parents. It will help you not to be ashamed of this feeling and especially to reconcile with yourself.
7 / What are the essential steps to go through in psychotherapy? The essential steps are: to free oneself from shame, to understand the causes of jealousy and to overcome them (childhood, adolescence, parental image ...), to heal from the fear of abandonment, to become aware of limiting beliefs and to transform them, to restore a good self-image, to learn to have confidence in oneself and to love oneself and to adopt another vision of the relationship of the couple. Self-love is fundamental to cure sickly jealousy. A group therapy can also participate in healing and helps to dramatize the situation: talking and hearing common testimonies to our history is particularly reassuring and allows to no longer see himself as "a case".
8 / What is the first step to go towards the path of healing? Learn to love each other deeply. No longer compare to others. Discover the beautiful person we are. According to Seneca "Already begins to be the friend of yourself and you will never be alone" I would add: already begin to love you THEN be the friend of yourself AND you will never be alone.

For more information: www.geraldyneprevot.com

Dealing With Jealousy (January 2022)