July 5, 2020

Justine: At 14, I stopped eating!

You will find a summary of Justine's book on page 2.

You show an impressive strength of character, because unlike many anorexics you like to eat. What did you want to prove?
Indeed, I always liked eating and for me to start such a diet was a real torture. But I wanted to prove to myself that I could control my emotions, that I had some power over me.

Were you aware that your attitude was dangerous?
When one is in the illness one does not account for anything. It was with hindsight that I realized that I had taken risks for my health. Today I still have some physical problems, but nothing serious. Fortunately, I have no irreversible consequences.

The causes of your anorexia are many, but do you think that seeing even leaner girls in the newspapers has affected your decision?
Even though my anorexia is due, indeed, to a lot of factors, magazines have certainly had a bad influence on me. I was too fat compared to what I saw. I did not fit into the norms. Yet today I realize that femininity is not synonymous with thinness. At that moment I did not look like a woman anymore, I was not myself. And unlike pro anorexics I have never been pretty in this state. I fell in theanorexia to express a deep evil that I could not exteriorize and solve.

Are you aware of hurting your family?
During the period ofanorexia I was aware of it, but still, selfishly, I thought that the only person who was suffering was me. I feel guilty. Even more for my little sisters. I showed them a model that should not be followed. I am sometimes worried that they reproduce what I did, especially Clotilde the largest. She was the only one I spoke to about the disease and I made her complicit in my actions, my nonsense. Today I avoid talking about it with her.

When did you decide to get out?
I think I really had a click at the time of the 2006 Tour de France. I have always lived in this environment and I like this sport. I also wanted my father to have stopped the competitions and move away from the racing atmosphere. This summer I was invited to a stage, it was great, I met many great runners, I regained confidence in myself. This is where I decided to become a sports journalist.

Today how do you feel?
Even if, after my bouts of bulimia, I find myself still a little round, I feel better, more feminine. I no longer watch my diet and do not have any more seizures. Anyway, it is out of the question that I dive again. But all this is still recent, I am always followed by a doctor and until I feel completely cured, I will continue to see him. But do we heal one day 100%?

To consult Justine's blog: //youstinette.skyblog.com/

Book summary

At the age of 14, Justine, until then a model little girl, decided to seriously start a diet. It measures 1m73 for 76 kg. She can not stand her curves, especially at school girls proudly display their thinness. His parents begin to make a few small reflections on his appetite. She then decides to start a diet that will prove rather a hunger strike. For Justine her daily food must fit in a bowl and again. She thus proves to her parents, but also to herself that she is able to hold and especially to impose herself a very strict control. In two months, she loses 10 kg. The process is ripe, she will go to the end even if she spends nights dreaming of food.

His behavior changes dramatically. She becomes sad and loses her joie de vivre. The diagnosis of theanorexia falls, but nothing makes her change her mind. She leads an infernal life to her loved ones, the meals always end in tears. She loses more than thirty pounds, becomes a shadow of herself and takes risks for her health. She is nurtured by nasogastric tube, but her parents seeing her forcibly make her hospitalize. All this does not solve anything. She will sink into the opposite excess, bulimia. The real key to getting out of it will come in the summer of 2006.Today she regains confidence in herself, eats normally, but does not admit to being fully healed.

Why are French women so thin & the food so good?... | "Parisian chic" | Justine Leconte (July 2020)