Red Alert: your guy flirts on Facebook! You have indeed surprised a conversation between your dear and tender and a young unknown. And the comments made make you crazy. Seductive, flattering, charming, your man plays don Juan with this girl you have never seen. Who is she ? Where is she from ? But above all, what is he playing at? And will he act and deceive you? Sandra Fingerhut, psychologist in the 17th arrondissement of Paris, answers these questions. And somewhat temper our concerns. First thing to know: "For most people, it's still in the imagination, it's still at the internet stage." The conversations would not go further and this ambiguous relationship established on Facebook would remain purely virtual.
But watch girls, it is not, for all that, an excuse! Because such a conversation is not insignificant, whether by interposed screens or not. It is therefore important to discuss with your spouse to know the reason that pushed him to act in this way. There are many ... "It can be a problem of trust in him, which makes him feel wanted and loved by someone other than the person with whom he is" explains Sandra Fingerhut. This virtual relationship can also be likened to a "loophole", if your companion has "trouble living in the couple".
Another option: the personality of your dear and tender. The psychologist even encourages you to dig her. "Is he a former seducer, or has he always been calm, what was his past in love?" The answers to these questions should be able to enlighten you. Thus, if your Jules was once calm and not charming, this virtual flirt will translate here a deficit of confidence or a problem in the couple. On the contrary, if he has always been seductive, Monsieur is not ready to change, since it is purely and simply his temperament. In this case, be clear with yourself: will you be able to accept it as it is?
Last point: if the conversation between your companion and this stranger is far more than a simple "you're cute", and it includes sexual or more than ambiguous, "it's not normal". "If sexuality is approached, there is a risk of acting out" says Sandra. Be careful!
Find Sandra Fingerhut's website.