Is it normal to have fantasies?
Yes, the fantasies are caresses of the mind. Like dreams we are not always aware of it. Through these erotic reveries or other naughty scenarios, it is the unconscious that expresses itself, which is why we do not choose our fantasies. They impose themselves on us. Everyone reacts to images, different situations. To have some fantasies is desirable, even indispensable. It helps to lower tensions. Note that man is more aware of his fantasies than the woman.
How do you explain that the fact of confessing fantasies is sometimes experienced as a shame?
We tend to associate the word fantasy to the word perversion. While the purpose of fantasy is to develop his sexuality through the mind but without taking action. Some people also think they are cheating on their partner if they fantasize during sex, imagining themselves make love in the arms of another for example. We are not responsible for our subconscious. Refuse the very idea of fantasy may imply a refusal of excitement.
To have fantasies, is it synonymous with sexual dissatisfaction?
Not at all, if it comes as an extra game in the sexuality. The fantasy sometimes helps to compensate for a difficult passage. By cons, if fantasy becomes indispensable to have fun, it is more dangerous for the couple or the individual.
Should we confess his fantasies to his partner?
It depends on the relationship we have with him. Why not if it is very strong, based on complicity, trust and communication. In these circumstances, fantasy can strengthen the relationship, it becomes an erotic game, a source of additional excitement. But it's best if it stays verbal.
Should we live his fantasies?
If you take action, you are no longer in the fantasy. All fantasy is not always good to live. The realization of a fantasy can cause the opposite effect, instead of stimulating it can inhibit. For example, if you take one of fantasies the most common, which is to make love to many, the person can quickly realize that she is unable to do so and be excited. This situation is very destabilizing.
Be careful therefore, the more we go towards the passage to the act more there is a risk of wanting to live scenarios increasingly strong.