You have just found a new familyyou have young people children you have custody and your spouse has children older, that you see every weekend or a weekend on two ... Christmas feast of the family promises to be high risk, so it is better to anticipate it early enough. Because what is already not easy with the in-laws can very quickly become more complicated with the families Blended ...
To avoid the tragedies, do not decide anything without the opinion of the children. Even when they are young, children capture all family tensions. Bring all your new people together, one or two months before Christmas to plan with them what they want for Christmas, especially in the case of alternate guards. Take advice from children, even the youngest, because Christmas is a certain ritual for them and it is better to respect it.
Do not impose on your spouse's children, a Christmas in your family. If they do not want to, or if you have not had time to make presentations, avoid forcing them to discover another family where they do not have their bearings. It is better to take the time of a visit outside the holidays, where your parents will be able to know the children in a warmer and more natural context.
Plan the round trips of each other
Do not try at all costs to reconstitute the family unit with your former spouse, especially if the traces of separation are still painful. Your children would feel the tension even more. Over time, if the situation is lightened you can consider a collective Christmas - parents-children, with both families recomposed, but this is to be attempted only in case of good agreement, after a few years.