mum
May 13, 2021

The return home with her baby: the maternal difficulty

What is a maternal difficulty?
The maternal difficulty is an emotional experience of motherhood. We feel depressed, we feel blockages, we feel guilty, we are ashamed of not being happy. This difficulty is different from baby blues or a small empty passage and can be very serious.
The maternal difficulty can be translated in different ways. Some moms will take care of their child like a nursery nurse, that is to say "outside" by doing the right thing, but without feeling emotion. They are not fooled by the situation so they feel guilty.
Some mothers think that by taking care of their child, the bond will be put in place. Sometimes, unfortunately, the discomfort lasts and it weighs down.
It is therefore important to talk about it, to take advice from the midwife for example before leaving the maternity ward or to consult quickly so that the discomfort is established.


In fact, women "play" the mother?
Yes. To answer his child, there must be an emotion. And sometimes this emotion that one can feel in the "love shock" for example, in the meeting? This state does not come. We recognize a happy maternity in the simplicity that we have to do things, without doing too much precisely. While in case of maternal difficulty, we want to do too much: the house will be nickel, the baby constantly changed, toys will be placed everywhere, we will go for a walk, never be alone with him for not not meet him. ". Mothers hide behind fatigue, or a so-called baby blues which nevertheless is eternal.


What are the signs of a maternal difficulty?
Sleep disorders are the first signs to recognize. A mother in difficulty will have trouble going back to sleep, she is constantly alert, in a state of extreme vigilance.
Obviously sometimes there are tears, fear. But often they are women overwhelmed by their child, for whom everything is a chore, they do not see the outcome. They can take care of their child too well, have a lot of mothering objects between them and their child so that it is not so accessible. Or simply be afraid to be alone with their child or be "abusive" mothers.
When one is in a maternal difficulty, to spend even a moment of quiet lengthened with his child does not exist ..

And the entourage in this situation?
Often when a woman collapses, it is an accident at the crossroads of her story. The story of her husband and his relationship to his mother. The father of the child may be waiting for a perfect mother, or become a "good mother" himself and take the place left vacant by his girlfriend, then making her feel guilty again.
Yet the entourage can very quickly by an attentive ear relieve these women and give them the means to do little by little acquaintance with their child. The family or the in-laws, if she substitutes for the mother, will send her the idea that she does not know how to do anything by teaching her a lesson, which of course can cause her to collapse doubly.

Does a childbirth that goes wrong promote the maternal difficulty?

The way you live with your child for the first few days and the way maternity settles can be seen as a failure.
It is not because one gives birth that one has given birth to one's child. There may be disappointment or discomfort. One may have the impression of having been deprived of his delivery during an emergency caesarean section or an epidural that cut off any sensation. We are disappointed. L?delivery may also have been too "violent"

What are the issues for these women?
Women in difficulty are often in the avoidance and tell stories, when it is not their entourage who does. It will pass, it is a baby blues, which lasts for 6 months, whereas normally it lasts only a few days, even a few hours.
When we know that only a dozen reception facilities are available, 70 beds in care unit, the urgency to understand what is the maternal difficulty is important.It is also urgent that the medical staff have a different listening and adapted speech for these women, what we want to understand through our association Mom blues.

To know more : //mamanblues.org


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