May 23, 2022

Why are we so attracted to our first love?

Why is it so striking?

A reference for life
- The 1st love we built. Whether it had a builder or destructive effect, it has and will always have an impact on our love life. In one way or another, all the following relationships are lived with reference to this first story.
- The 1st love is a discovery. The discovery of the first emotions lover. In our storieslove, everyone always brings the lessons he has learned from his previous stories, while in thelove youth, there is no recourse to the past possible, everything is to write!
- The 1st love marks the end of childhood and the entry into the adult world. It is because he defines this important transition that he remains so anchored in our memory.

A love idealized!
- The 1st love is fantasy. We keep an idyllic memory of this history often thwarted by external circumstances against which the lover At the time, there was no strength to fight (study abroad, move) We even managed to identify with couples like Romeo and Juliet, Tristan and Yseult, couples whose love have been made impossible from the outside!
- The 1st love represents the myth of eternal youth. For this reason, many women want to find him. The reunion gives a feeling of regeneration, as if one could be eternally young. Moreover, this nostalgia of the first love It does not happen at any time in an existence, it happens most often when an individual feels a sense of failure in his present life and begins to believe that it would be possible to start all over again. zero!

How to definitely zap his first love ?

Remember why the story ended! If these boys are out of your lives, there are good reasons. Look for them! It will help you step back on your love of youth.
Review it! And if you finally decide to see it again, trivialize this story! Maybe yesterday's hunk had taken a belly, lost some hair, became totally narcissistic, and wondered what you could have found and everything will be forgotten soon!
Agree to grow! The risk of not forgetting his love of youth is mainly not to move forward in his life. It is important to go beyond this perfect image to avoid living in the past. To be fulfilled and live fully, you have to agree to go ahead and grow!
Imagine your current situation with him! Gwenaëlle and Florent had a great story in high school. These are the studies that separated them: Florent left to study economics in Lyon while Gwenaëlle chose to study abroad. Their story has stopped. However, with hindsight Gwenaëlle knows that it could not have lasted: she wanted to travel every summer while Florent preferred to stay close to her friends and family.
Accept that another beautiful story is possible! If the image that we kept of this love of youth is too idealized, it can lead to a blockage and prevent to live another story oflove simply because, in advance, it will look less beautiful. So no question of running after the look-alike of his lover 17 years old. Do you just say that another love can be as good if not better than the first.

Do you ever get over your first love? | Ask the over sixties (May 2022)