Childhood: the love feeling in children
We take stock with the psychoanalyst Laurence Joseph.
At what age does a child begin to feel his first love feelings?
As a rule, children experience their first feelings at the end of the nursery, just before entering kindergarten, that is to say to 3 years and it lasts until the age of 8 years. Around the age of 9, children are much less interested in "love stories"; boys play between boys and girls girls. The feeling of love will be reborn at puberty.
How does the love feeling manifest in the child?
The children cuddle, they hold hands, kisses. They pay attention to their beloved. The child makes his lover his elected! The child will sublimate his relationship. Falling in love is also a way for a child to identify with the parental couple.
What should be the behavior of the parents?
It is important to respect the feelings of your child but be careful not to do too much by organizing for example a false marriage or talking constantly of the lover (s). Do not make his lover (s) a mascot! And do not force his confidences.
Does the child feel as strong as an adult?
Absolutely ! A child may feel the urge to always be with his lover, the lack, in the same way as an adult. On the other hand, they feel much less violent than adults because at 3-4 years, children do not yet know the carnal dimension of love.
Should some attitudes worry parents?
Yes, since the child has a relationship that is too fusional, too exclusive with his lover. For example, if your child only talks to their lover, parents need to understand why they do not want to be with other children. Take it all seriously, and if so, talk to a child psychiatrist.
How to react in case of heartbreak?
You have to comfort your child, reassure him, listen to him. It must be explained that love is certainly a strong feeling, but one that can evolve. Tell him too that he will know many other love stories. But do not be too worried, most of the time, in small children, heartaches pass very quickly ...
What if children play "make love"?
First, avoid scolding him. It is important to talk to your child in a calm way. He may be simply reproducing what he sees on television, so it is necessary that you control the images he can see. Explain to him calmly that this is not an activity, nor a breeze, and that "these things" are reserved for adults. Also teach your child that his body belongs only to him.
What is the influence of first love feelings on a child's personality?
The first love feelings will allow your child to learn that "the Other" exists. He will feel emotions, frustrations. He will also understand that he can not control everything, that the other also has his freedom. Being in love will help you build your identity, and just grow.
To find out more: Simone Gerber's "Amours et amitiés enfantines" book (Editions Marabout)
At what age does a child begin to feel his first love feelings?
As a rule, children experience their first feelings at the end of the nursery, just before entering kindergarten, that is to say to 3 years and it lasts until the age of 8 years. Around the age of 9, children are much less interested in "love stories"; boys play between boys and girls girls. The feeling of love will be reborn at puberty.
How does the love feeling manifest in the child?
The children cuddle, they hold hands, kisses. They pay attention to their beloved. The child makes his lover his elected! The child will sublimate his relationship. Falling in love is also a way for a child to identify with the parental couple.
What should be the behavior of the parents?
It is important to respect the feelings of your child but be careful not to do too much by organizing for example a false marriage or talking constantly of the lover (s). Do not make his lover (s) a mascot! And do not force his confidences.
Does the child feel as strong as an adult?
Absolutely ! A child may feel the urge to always be with his lover, the lack, in the same way as an adult. On the other hand, they feel much less violent than adults because at 3-4 years, children do not yet know the carnal dimension of love.
Should some attitudes worry parents?
Yes, since the child has a relationship that is too fusional, too exclusive with his lover. For example, if your child only talks to their lover, parents need to understand why they do not want to be with other children. Take it all seriously, and if so, talk to a child psychiatrist.
How to react in case of heartbreak?
You have to comfort your child, reassure him, listen to him. It must be explained that love is certainly a strong feeling, but one that can evolve. Tell him too that he will know many other love stories. But do not be too worried, most of the time, in small children, heartaches pass very quickly ...
What if children play "make love"?
First, avoid scolding him. It is important to talk to your child in a calm way. He may be simply reproducing what he sees on television, so it is necessary that you control the images he can see. Explain to him calmly that this is not an activity, nor a breeze, and that "these things" are reserved for adults. Also teach your child that his body belongs only to him.
What is the influence of first love feelings on a child's personality?
The first love feelings will allow your child to learn that "the Other" exists. He will feel emotions, frustrations. He will also understand that he can not control everything, that the other also has his freedom. Being in love will help you build your identity, and just grow.
To find out more: Simone Gerber's "Amours et amitiés enfantines" book (Editions Marabout)
