February 29, 2024

He does not like his mistress

How to know if a child do not like his mistress?

Most often, a child who does not feel good with his mistress complains "she does not stop scolding me" or "it's Julien his darling" ... Sometimes he does not say anything, but his behavior has changed. We must try to find out more.
Quietly, ask him what is going on reassuring him: "you know that you can talk to me whenever you want ..."

How can we help him?

Above all, do not start criticizing his mistress because it would destabilize him. Your child needs to think that she is teaching him well. Hearing criticize his mistress, he would have more difficulty to follow in class.
Stay neutral using formulas like: "this mistress is very different from the one you had last year, each mistress has her method".
Avoid guilt phrases like "but let's see, all children love their mistress ... "and, on the contrary, play down, you can explain to him that this is often the case in life, and that you do not have to get along well with the people you work with. Do not hesitate to take example of your own experience "I too see people at work ... I'm not friends with everyone, but I work well with these people ..."

What can be done if the discomfort persists?

To learn more and get an idea, make an appointment with the teacher and inform your child reassuring him: "I am your mother, and it is normal that I want to understand why you do not feel good at school right now".
Come with your spouse and talk about the discomfort of your child being as neutral as possible: "I have the impression that my child does not feel very good in class What do you think ? "Discuss and consider solutions with her.

What can these solutions be?

It all depends on where the problem comes from. Maybe the teacher is not doing well right now, and you can not do anything about it. Explain to your child that his mistress is going through a difficult period.
If others parents complain, consult the delegates of parents students who can approach the problem with management.
It is also possible that your child scorned or dissipated in class. Talk to the teacher about possible disturbances in family life (birth, divorce ...) that could explain her behavior. Consider solutions with her. Your child may need to go to bed early or go home at night rather than staying in school ... Ask the teacher to redo a point a little later.
Finally, in extreme cases of bullying, contact the psychologist school and then talk to the delegate parents students and management. But these cases are fortunately extremely rare.

* Christine Brunet is psychologist clinician, psychotherapist and co-author with Anne-Cécile Sarfati of Small worries and big worries from 1 to 7 years at Albin Michel.

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