He does not want to engage: interview of a psychologist
Why is the act of engagement so important for many women?
"The need for commitment can be explained by two phenomena: the possessiveness a woman feels towards her spouse, or the fear of abandonment, depending on her story, her ideal of a couple, her expectations. . "
What can motivate the refusal of marriage or commitment to a man?
"Basically, this may reflect uncertainties (due to instability of the couple, previous emotional failures, divorce within one's own family, etc.), or non-belief in what marriage represents. (as a value.) Engagement can then go through something else, marriage is not the only recourse. "
What is the attitude towards a man who refuses to commit after several years of life together?
"The important thing is to know what is expected of each other in the relationship and to realize if these expectations can be met or not." The other must be respected in what he is and in his choices. If they no longer suit us, we must ask ourselves the question of acceptance: is it likely to compromise on these important things for oneself? If not, that a woman is not ready to draw a line on his personal expectations, the breaking is to consider. "
In case of painful breakage, how to turn the page without too much feathers?
"It's more than ever necessary to be patient, to be surrounded, to reconnect with fallen friends, to focus on yourself, to take stock." It is also recommended to consult temporarily, to try to answer questions. questions that arise and fill the gap left by the departure of the other. "
Some women are "maniacs" of commitment. After 2 months, they already want promises of eternity. How to explain this phenomenon ?
"They want to believe in it, and for that they need words that will put commitment into reality, where the question of the fear of being alone or abandoned is raised. or is it reassuring not to be alone? This is the real question that needs to be asked. "
