mum
January 24, 2021

Twins: must we maintain the difference?

If science has tried to look at the link between twinsshe is still very far from finding satisfactory explanations. And fortunately there are still areas where the human resists logic! Because our twins are complex beings above all, caught in an extraordinary situation that led them to share the same belly at the same time, the same care, the same genes and the eyes of others always fascinated. "Why do you confuse me with Camille? Asked little Julie when she was three years old. Young people twins live the situation with the greatest naturalness when the outside world complicates the data.

Psychology sideit was René Zazzo who first launched studies on twins. For him, the twins "Is no more psychologically similar than ordinary brothers". His books can enlighten your lantern if you need them.

Design sidein the mother's womb, twins are in contact with each other and begin their relationship well away from the world. Kicks, contact research, babies learn to live with each other and develop their first feelings together. In these circumstances, brutally separate twins at birth looks like a wrenching.

The separation is becoming desirable, according to specialists, around the age of 6, when children enter primary school. Often, however, twins will find themselves in a fusional phase in adolescence, the age at which humans build themselves. It is one compared to the other that twins will often feel the need to do so.

Encourage resemblance in "the twin myth" is something that some parents think they are doing for the sake of their children. As in couples, twins have a relationship in which one dominates, more or less strongly. It is a question of the harmonious development of each personality and the openness to the other children to mark and to support the differences of each of the twins.

Sweetness and constructiveness are probably the two lighthouses that must light the roads that open in front of each child twins. Find the right balance between respect for this exceptional relationship between these two beings and help differentiation, what pedagogy balancing! Because in everyday life, the twins sometimes show the same tastes for a sport or for a dress. Should we accept? Opt for two radically different dresses and disappoint both? The answer, you find it of course in the measure. There is no harm in buying the same dress with two little girls if all their wardrobe is not already identical!

The education of twins is a long road that must lead them, like any other child, to fulfilling adult lives. Maybe you watch these shows on the twins which show old ladies dressed and styled the same way, living under the same roof. They remained refugees in the bubble of twinning by enclosing themselves there. Every parent wants a happy, independent life for his child, made of free choices. To find a spouse, a career, realize their talents, your twins must find the strength to break out of their relationship. It's up to you to guide them in this direction.
 
Our advice
Some psychologists specialize in the relationship of twins. Without going into therapies that are not always useful, you can consult them to ask them questions that reflect the life you lead with your family.

Guess: Who Never Confuses Identical Twins? (January 2021)