July 5, 2020

They never made love

Aurélie, 28 years old : "finally want to know love"
"I have never donelove and I'm ashamed of it. I lock myself into a kind of vicious circle, because I am so afraid of finding myself in front of a man and confess to him that I am now fleeing any relationship. I live it badly. My best friend knows it, but nobody else. How to admit such a thing, while the sexuality is everywhere ? Magazines rarely talk about virginity and I feel really alone. Talk to my doctor, it's impossible. A gynecologist? I do not have any of course! There is currently a boy that I like in the office, I feel it's mutual. I would like so much to have the courage to tell him my secret to break this confinement in which I am. The reason for this blockage certainly comes from a rigid education and the fear of acting out a lack of experience. Finally I would say that I really want to be a normal woman and know what can bring thelove. »
Nathalie, 25: "Are we a woman when we are virgin at this age!"
"I hesitated a long time before testifying. But being able to read that other women are in the same situation as I would probably reassure me a little. And besides, can one say to be a woman when one is still a virgin?
I try not to think about my "difference", but it's quite difficult when you only talk about it at work, on TV, in magazines ... How to feel "normal" while being a virgin in a world where sex is everywhere?
As a general rule, I live my "no sexuality"Pretty good, but I would like to know how it feels to be doingloveit looks so good.
Some of my friends are aware, they tell me that it does not matter, that it is better to wait on the "good", otherwise we can regret it, etc. But it's hard to see the time pass and nothing happens.
I think it's because of that that I do not let men get too close. If I tell them, do you imagine their head? They will run away right away! And since I do not let men come near me, I'm still a virgin, it's an endless cycle. How can I change this and make someone "normal"? What do men think of a young virgin woman at 25?
Analyze the causes of this "no passage" to the act? I do not really know: in fact, the boys and men to whom I have attached myself have never been interested in me and vice versa. All of this may be linked to a fear of abandonment and suffering.
And when it's reciprocal, I fled at full speed. In fact, I'm not used to being appreciated. In my education and in my family, we are quite distant! I do not remember that my parents hugged me a lot or said they loved me! This is also a word a little "taboo" for me!
I never thought of going to see a psychologist to treat that. Even less a sexologist! In my mind, we will only see a sexologist if we have sex. Then I do not know if talking about it would help me!
Karine, 36: "I will never make love ..."
"I'm 36 years old, and I've never donelove. Why ? I do not really know. I am shy and I have a hard time going to others. In addition, I do not have a very engaging physique, I am rather Josiane Balasko than Cindy Crawford, so it does not help to meet people. It is obvious that I suffer from it. But now at my age, I'm resigned and I'm making a reason. I will never dolove.
I never told anyone, not even a doctor. It is true that I do not feel in the norm. We talk everywhere about sexuality, of couples, of children, of family ... Me too I would have liked to found a family and to return in the norm. "
Gabriel, 42: "I do not suffer ..."
"I'm 42 and I do not suffer from never having donelove. I have been asked five times in marriage. I accepted once, but my future wife quickly told me that someone who had never donelove at age 35 was a mental imbalance. I broke up. Since then, I stopped working, I paint a few paintings. I lead a sweet life. Women do not understand me. And even if I adore them, I'm not really looking for contact anymore. I am a millionaire and money is all wrong. Few women are not interested or are not looking for a parent. "

Rich Gang - Never Made Love (July 2020)