June 9, 2023

Putting a child or a teenager in an internship: is this the right solution?

Why put your child or teenager in boarding school? Parental conflicts, school failures ... is the boarding school THE solution? Should we make the decision with the child or teenager? What are the advantages and disadvantages ? Whatever the reason, should the choice be matured?
The boarding school should not be a punishment but rather an impetus for the children. Renée Greusard, author of the book "Put my teen in boarding school: a good solution?" (student editions), answered our questions.

First of all what is the difference between a boarding school and a college or high school says normal?

There are not really any. The only difference: the boarding school has a structure that can accommodate children 24 hours a day. The staff are in principle qualified to manage and supervise the children interns.

Why will parents make the decision to put their child in boarding school? What are the real reasons?

There are 10,000 reasons. Among them, there is the desire for the parents and the child to have better results, there is a family climate (misunderstanding between one of the parents and the child) which is a little toxic and it is There may also be parents' desire to shelter their children, to protect them when the environment becomes difficult (eg, as a divorce) or when their work is too busy.

Your child is failing school or in conflict with the family : Is the internship the best solution?

Overall, the decision to put a child in boarding can be a solution. But we must also think about the consequences and not to throw ourselves on the first boarding school. According to some psychologists, the first question parents must ask themselves is "is this boarding school suitable for my child?" There are good ones but also bad ones. It is necessary to target the one that will be most adapted to your child (at the level of the supervision, theeducation, his needs, his expectations ...).
All children are different. Some will find their happiness. Others will live it very badly and their schooling will not be better. The decision to send a child to a boarding school must be carefully considered. When the decision is made by the parents, most psychologists advise to talk to the child while being assured of your decision that it is better firm and definitive.

Are parents and children increasingly attracted by this solution?

At the beginning of the 20th century, boarding schools were much criticized (in terms of comfort, hygiene, sometimes harsh mornings ...). There is a persistent imagination but the boarding school is not a "prison" and it should not be presented as a punishment. This vision of the boarding school is outdated. While some boarding schools are strict, others are too lax. The boarding school has evolved a lot, but parents must learn as much as possible, visit it, talk a lot with parents to see if the choice of boarding school is perfectly adapted to their child. The boarding school is not really fashionable nowadays. In the 1970s, 13% of secondary school students were internal. In 2010, they would be only 4.1% according to the Ministry of theeducation.

We all got this sentence: "If you do not work well at school, I'll put you in boarding school". Can the boarding school really allow the child to return to school?

The answer is mixed. There are children who have started working. They found autonomy and self-confidence. For others, the results have dropped because they prefer friends to study and they have also discovered the joys of freedom (absent parents and establishment too lax). Be careful also to children who decide to go to boarding school to follow the best friend or best friend. This decision can be catastrophic and the school results will suffer. There is a risk of failure because the decision will not have been reflected on both sides.

You want to send your child to boarding school. Should we talk to him about it?

According to some psychologists, this decision should not be taken lightly by parents. You have to think about it and talk to the child about it. But as soon as the decision is made, you have to stick to it, not to apologize and not feel guilty. You have to make him understand that it is a good solution and that it is also a service rendered to your child.

Your child has never left the family cocoon. He dreads separation.What are the arguments that can make him falter? Are there words to reassure him, to make him understand that this is not a punishment?

It must be explained that you like it, that you make this decision for its good (for example if you are always on the road or on a business trip ...), that it is important to study. I met a 14-year-old boy named Gwenaël. His parents are boatmen and spend their lives on a houseboat. He returned to the boarding school at the age of six. On his return home, often when he has had good results, his parents make small gifts to congratulate him. This is a very good idea because it allows both to congratulate the child for an effort he has made during the absence of his parents but also to show him affection. Be careful, the idea is not that the child is spoiled by gifts. He must be offered gifts sparingly.

If the child refuses, should we insist or backtrack?

Do not backtrack. The role of parents is to explain that this decision is important. These explanations must be done calmly. It is indeed necessary to avoid cries and crises of tears.

What is the best time (age for example) to put a child in boarding school?

For me before college, it's too early. But some parents, those who work a lot and have to travel, do not have much choice and I met children who knew the boarding school at the age of 6 years. In primary school, however, avoid. At the time of college, it's better but this choice should not be taken for the sole purpose of discharging his child.

If a child is still in the skirts of his mother, the boarding school will allow him to reach maturity, independence.

It all depends on the child. Some will discover a life of autonomy and flourish. Other children will settle in a bad dynamic by transgressing the regulations of the boarding school, defying the specialized supervision. Like everywhere !

Putting your child in boarding: what are the advantages and disadvantages?

The advantages can be: a teaching team at the height will do a good job with the child, the child will discover life in society, he will make new friends, he will be able to focus on his studies and learn to work on your own.
Disadvantages: the child will turn away from school if the parents have made the wrong choice (as in a normal college or high school). Some boarding schools are bad (supervision too flexible ...), the solution of the boarding school can be too violent for an introverted child, some parents are reproached.

"A Single Bullet" H2O / ArtWORKS teen summer internship project (June 2023)