SOS couple on the brink of separation: how to save his story?
1-Step 1: Put words on your problems
The essential prerequisite for any "anti-crisis plan" is a substantive discussion about the cause of the dissensions that are ruining your relationship. What do you blame each other (we forget the small anecdotal trivia to focus on the essential)? Why is it so important to you? What are you ready to concede and what will you never compromise? If you can not verbalize this calmly, you can write each down on paper what are your grievances towards your partner. In the light of these two texts, you will then seek how to take a step towards the other. If your reports have deteriorated to the point that you are unable to talk to you without it turning into fist, choose to consult a therapist, a sexologist or a marriage coach, so that it fits you and avoids the overflows. However, avoid asking your family to play the referees: they are not emotionally neutral and risk taking sides, so to exacerbate your conflicts.
2-Step 2: Make a clean sweep of rancours
If we want to continue his journey together, we must also, to put the odds on his side - and even if it is far from obvious - to forgive his half the small and big knacks he or she put in the marital contract. Yes, he has very badly experienced that your mother criticizes him on his arrival in the family, and that you have not bothered to defend him ... On your side, you feel still betrayed, four after, by his "skid" punctual with his former assistant. But if you camp in bitterness, anger, nothing can ever evolve positively.
3- Step 3: Reinventing your daily life
If it's more the routine that has kept you away than disagreements or arguments, the right technique is to start surprising you again, to move you, in the good sense of the word. So you have to agree to wake up sometimes twenty minutes before your usual time (even if you are exhausted) to propose to your man in the morning a quickie Naughty before you go to work or get by to babysit before announcing to Chéri that you are off on a surprise weekend ... It's up to him to relearn how to coax you, by offering you a small gift without opportunity particular, scribbling a little word on the table or the mirror, coming to pick you up by surprise at work. Small gestures that will not solve at all but will lead you into a virtuous circle!
To read : Love in turbulence zone, overcome the 8 obstacles that threaten your couple, by Randi Gunther,
